The Unwanted

Today’s post is a recent scribble. A new short story? A new novel? We’ll see how it develops, but know that it’s a touch of sci-fi, and one I do intend to develop further in the future. Outlines and notations are already swimming through my head, apparently moving into the same high-rise apartments as the second novel (in progress) for my Haunted Shadows trilogy…which is a little awkward. For now, though, enjoy the opening to what is presently operating under the working title, “The Unwanted”:

There was a breath of wind before the light went out of Conira. Somewhere beyond, the fires of dying stars burned into the desolation, their flickers like  a dance to someone, somewhere beneath a cloudless sky. But Conira knew only the veil of sunlight, the clouded kiss of the warming.

Before the ships, the Comuratii never knew the shape of a night’s sky–only its cold kiss. Midnight howls.

The wind swept against the frames of pillars carved against a mountain relief. Dust swirled in the roar as artificial fires drew steel to life–the wide, trackless plain, hemmed in by earthen and handmade boundaries alike. It was opaque and red against the pillars and the clouds, a reflective glimpse of color in the ink. The ship’s fires surged against it, bathed in reflections.

Tiny figures slid across the plain’s expanse, in purposed disarray.

Every night, the spaceport came to life as such, even though its walls opened to the celestial ships just ten times a year. Seamless behemoths, broiling with the heat of entry, would descend in threes–miles and miles of metal, welded and made fit to drift the black. Each came hungry, thirsty, and opened themselves to the bosom of this barren earth.

It was 407 days into the cycle, when an eleventh sojourn cracked against the stone.

The Unwanted craned his neck against the chill, and drank the scent of it. Gasoline and death. It settled over the gathered crowd like a frenzied cloud.

Most had stumbled from their homes at the noise of it. It reverberated in the mountain deeps, luring the way but curious Comuratii from their dreams of distant starlight. Most would not guess its purpose, merely stretch their wings and bask in the bizarre moment of the unscheduled. Bask in the heat of other intellects spread beyond their own fair crust.

The Unwanted stretched his long legs, and marveled at the gust of prickled wind on his back, as it slid from the cracked door. Home. He stared out the window and remembered all that had made it so, even as shadows swallowed the world. Bodies scurried down the hall of the ship. The captain swore, in his guttural tongue. But none of it diluted that moment of remembrance.

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3 thoughts on “The Unwanted

  1. Your descriptions of this world were spot on. I felt like one of the Comurati watching the scene unfold.

    First time here but your writing piqued my interest enough, I downloaded the Hollow March for my Nook. (Hugs) Indigo

    • I’m honored! One could scarcely offer more concrete praise, than to turn to the novel in curiosity of the style. Thank you, and I do hope you enjoy The Hollow March. You can see what you think of my style in fantasy vs. sci-fi.

  2. Oooo how I love SciFi! And this one crackles with possibility…impells me to keep reading…wants me to find this world…to hear the story!

    Over the year I’ve really enjoyed the critiques you’ve given me, especially on my poem The Man At The Bar http://kolembo.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/the-man-at-the-bar/

    For you here, I give you something you’re gonna love.

    Just try it.

    Your story BEGINS with the paragraph:

    “Every night, the spaceport came to life as such, even though its walls opened to the celestial ships just ten times a year. Seamless behemoths, broiling with the heat of entry, would descend in threes–miles and miles of metal, welded and made fit to drift the black. Each came hungry, thirsty, and opened themselves to the bosom of this barren earth.”

    Then continue if you want to the end of piece AND THEN follow with what you have as the beginning at the moment:”…There was a breath of wind before the light went out of Conira…”

    It’s early days to think about editing, but try it and see. You’ll love it.

    Good stuff. On, on!

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