Enfold in me
your light, your life–
sweet summer child
turn not your color from my heart,
the scent of pine trees,
sculpted in the dawning,
where all of nature is the swell at your sweet breast,
the gathered breaths cultivating
convalesced coercion of my soul.
Breath to breath, I seek your notes,
the tantalized texture of your smile
writhes still in me, in places
only faith should know.
You drink me, though you do not know
the taste of my desire–
the character in the caricature–
myself, I, wilting in that shade,
in those dark places where your lips and light
shall never know, nor ever sing.
The Waking Den 
“wilting in that shade,
in those dark places where your lips and light
shall never know”
Wow Chris you took it up a notch with his one. So well written, sensitive and yet the longing for someone to find the real you is tangible and real. I often wonder how we adapt oureslf in a relationship, and do we actually keep that little part of ourselves that precious little space where we are just “us” when we’re alone. Great thought provoking write. Summer child? You been watching/reading Game of Thrones too? 😀
Haha, oh Shan, you’ve got my number on this. Thank you so very much for the kind words – and yes, I must confess, The Game of Thrones is one of my favorite (book) series. I’ve watched the show as well, though as it goes along, I must confess, I am gravely distressed in how it’s beginning to…vary from the book. I knew it would but, still makes me grumbly…
You had some really great lines here, Chris…”turn not your color from my heart…” and “…writhes still in me, in places only faith should know…” I could sense the longing in your words.
you last few lines sucked the breath out of me…to desire but never have is such a hard place…you write it well chris…great one shot
I can hear this sung as a ballad…
Ooo, as a ballad you say? Long as I wouldn’t be the one doing the singing I suppose…
You drink me, though you do not know
the taste of my desire–
the character in the caricature….dang..this is powerful chris
words become magic when written directly through ones heart, and thus your poem takes me to places i’ve never visited before and pray that someday i too, shall find the magic that leaves poetry lovers begging for more…pleading…love your elusive sensuality…
great poetry…
sincerely,
“the tantalized texture of your smile
writhes still in me, in places
only faith should know.
You drink me, though you do not know
the taste of my desire–”
Simply brilliant. Yet more lines destined for my poetic memory. Thanks for sharing this extremely moving poem.
Your words really strike a chord
Hittting hard like a board
It’s tough to desire what is out of your reach
No matter how much you beseech
Great write you gave
Deserving of such rave
‘Breath to breath, I seek your notes,
the tantalized texture of your smile
writhes still in me, in places
only faith should know’
Woah that’s pretty potent writing Chris! I’d be tempted to split it into tercets, I think it would allow the piece a little space to breathe and be savoured for longer by the reader. Fab write my friend.
You’ve got so many excellent lines in this one Chris–I’d pick them all out but I’d be repeating almost the entire poem. I really like the last six–the character in the caricature–so well put. I think we’ve all had that sense of our own self lost in the persona at one time or another–i have, certainly. I really enjoyed this one, and now I’m going to finally have to read Game of Thrones. ;_)
There are parts of us that stay hidden from others for many reasons, good and bad. Unfortunately all tv series/movies vary from books too much. I haven’t read the Game of Thrones bookss but the tv series is a great watch. A huge let down there (I’m ashamed to admit) was the end of the 6th Harry Potter movie(although the lack of Tom Bombadil in LOTR is a close 2nd).
*grins* Excellent! Someone else that grimaced at the lack of Bombadil! Precious few people I’ve found that raise that grudge, and it is quite the legitimate one to raise…and I concur on the 6th Potter movie as well. Overall, I’ll say the Potter movies are just average in general, but the complete wash-over of the ending to the sixth was just offensive. Particularly when it was based on the producers’ assessment that it would have “felt it too similar to the Battle of Hogwarts in the seventh book.” Aggravating.
Chris a great write “the character in the caricature–” oh I loved that line. Its a beautiful tale of desire from the shadows. You tell it perfectly ~ Rose
There is a lovely flow to this piece, and some lovely images too, the emotional depth, the darker place that speaks, wraps around the loved being with a distinct voice, but does not impinge or impair her beauty with the power of the isolation he feels from her..hmm lovely..
Words to drown in… to succumb entirely, as to a lover…. So sweetly seductive.
Excellent lines, word choices, emotion, a total package. I think thi is m first read of one of ur poems. I’ll be back. Very well done.
http://henryclemmonspoet.blogspot.com/2011/06/foxglove-white-one-shot-wednesday.html
Lovely write with tangible lines that honor the hearts desire. A summer love song, or a song for love unrequited… I agree with the ballad assessment as well. Lyrical One shot ~
wow … words and phrases that kinda latch onto you and stay ….
A truly beautiful poem of deep love.
Thank you for joining Poets United. We look forward to visiting your blog and reading poetry. We also look forward to seeing you in our community.
Ink runs from the corners of my mouth
There is no happiness like mine.
I have been eating poetry.
~Mark Strand