Golden Twilight
sinks into the final gasp,
a flame too bright for any sight,
fades not in thunder, but a rasp.
–
Ink etches yet into the sketch
no more the streets,
long shadows stretch,
fading color, sinking beats.
* My latest contribution to the wonderful One Shot Poetry Wednesdays! Once you’ve had a look, check out some of the other One Shot Poets as well– they’re a skilled bunch of poets, looking to form a community and support one another. Enjoy!
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ahhh – i love sunsets – and when i read this, i wish i hadn’t missed tonight’s….
Such majesty, such beauty in a moment… 🙂 But don’t worry Claudia. There’ll always be more to see!
You’ve captured it perfectly in words.
Great combination of imagery and flowing cadence. Nice one, brother!
Beautiful imagery.
Picture perfect and a poem to go with it..
Well described.
Sunset ..it is every poet’s spot of inspiration ..nature is our garden of blossomed roses, we are just butterflies flying from one rose to the other..sooo well expressed! beautiful one shot..:)
I love it but I don’t understand the line “fades not in thunder, but a rasp.” I wish I knew what you meant there. It is all so beautiful but I wish I could get past that line.
Ah, see, that was an “of the moment” sort of deal. As I was watching the sunset in question, it was clear skies as far as the eye could see–but a cool, gentle breeze was “rasping” all about me all the while.
wow chris this is great..sunrises and sets are both favs for me…like hte sketch ref as wel…nice one shot!
Gorgeous imagery. I do love sunsets. =)
Very nice… Chris, the shadow dancing of sunset and the night.
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
You’ve painted a brilliant image with your words. Thank you for sharing. Gay @beachanny
Love the way you painted this poem Chris. I can see the color in my mind if not from my window.
So glad you are part of One Shot you are a great addition my friend
moonie smiles
“fades not to tunder but a rasp”… nice line…bkm
outstanding poetry with cool rhymes.
Cheers!
Very nice. My favorite time of day.
i enjoyed this poem.
That last verse is pure class
I love the theme you’ve chosen. Beautifully evocative. :O)
Nice verse, Chris.
(I just wish I could overcome my recent prejudice against the term ‘twilight’)
A lovely image.
Beautiful, especially the last few lines…..I could FEEL the sun going down. Good work.
I like how effecitvely you use the idea of color — fading and muted color — golden twilight fading. This is a slight trace of “not with a bang but a whimper” in the fading “not in thunder but a rasp.” Really well done.
Sorry, I found this cliche & it doesn’t go anywhere.
Fair enough. I appreciate the honesty, at least. I ask only how you might describe a sunset, than?
excellently written my friend…a great one shot..cheers pete
I love this, it’s a wonderfully tight poem, each word lending itself to the whole. And it begs to be read aloud, especially these lines:
“sinks into the final gasp,
a flame too bright for any sight,
fades not in thunder, but a rasp.”
Stunning.
I really dig the line “ink etches yet into the sketch”
Fantastic one shot!
Great writing – you nailed the “sunset” vibe. 🙂
nice i can picture it in my head as i read your poem
great oneshot:)
I love sunsets too…you made me feel in the moment 🙂 Thanks for sharing xx
Beautiful. With just a few words and an elegant simplicity , you have captured the complexity of feeling that a sunset brings with it. I really liked this a lot.
Thank you for visiting my blog and for your kind comments on my non-traditional love poem. 🙂
So beautiful.
ecstasies
Great Poem! Imagery took me there. 🙂
Fine images…both the words and the photo.
Amazing imagery, I really have a thing for sunsets. I love the way you rhymed the poem. Brilliant work!